Whether one lives in a bustling eastern city or on the prairies of Wyoming, the emotions associated with divorce are the same. A wide range of emotions are normal, including anger, loneliness and disappointment, among many others. Grief can be thought of as the accumulation of all these. Working through grief after or during a bitter divorce can be tricky, but it can be done.
The first step is to accept in one’s mind that the divorce is going to happen. It is a fact and there’s no ignoring it, so it’s time to deal with it. At that point the next step starts, and that is dealing with the grief that can come in like a tsunami, washing over one’s body and mind, flooding into every void that has been opened up and left vacant by the missing spouse. It can be quite an initial blast, but once it’s finished rushing in it will begin to subside, and the rescue and recovery can begin. Like dealing with the remnants of a tsunami, each stage of grief is important, and each must be given its own time to process before moving on to the next.
Anger is natural. It provides energy and shields the person from some of the other negative emotions, but if left unchecked it can be destructive, so the trick is to reap its benefits without falling victim to its dangers. After the anger has subsided one can start to look at the situation differently and begin to take responsibility for one’s own actions. Normally both spouses are in some way responsible for the divorce. Accepting that it is a joint effort allows for personal growth and allows one to begin working toward the ultimate goal of developing feelings of compassion and gratitude for the other spouse.
Everyone experiencing divorce can benefit from seeking additional support. A trained therapist can provide unbiased advice and a different way to view the experiences associated with divorce. A support group can help with loneliness and can provide companions that are going through the same process. An experienced divorce attorney will be an invaluable asset by providing guidance navigating the Wyoming legal system and helping the focus stay on productivity and forward momentum. With support and the right approach, the grief of divorce can be overcome, and a new exciting life can begin.